Why Chile?

So since it's been over a year since I posted a blog, there's a lot to catch y'all up on!!

First and foremost, you should know that God has called me to intern with Campus Crusade for Christ in Santiago, Chile!! So why Chile and how did I get there? Glad you asked...

When I transferred to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro I looked into doing study abroad in Australia but upon receiving the confirmation package from the university down there, I just didn't have a peace about checking YES and sending it back. After about two weeks of holding the package, a friend suggested that I go look at the Campus Crusade's Summer Project website. If I went to Australia, I wouldn't have been able to do anything over the summer as their semesters go from around March to July. I looked at the site and after reading around 15 different project descriptions, I read the project description for Mexico City. I have never heard the audible voice of God, but if I could point to a specific moment in time when God spoke directly to me, it would be that moment. He said unquestioningly "That's what you're supposed to do." After two days of prayer and continuing to seek Him on the matter, I read Psalm 2 where it says, "The Lord will give you the nations as your inheritance..." That did it. I checked NO and sent the package back to Australia.

Fast forward to three weeks before departure to Mexico City. Swine flu has erupted and the whole world is buzzing about it. Mexico City seems to be a hot zone for it, so the project was cancelled. :-/ I was given four options - San Antonio, Texas; Seattle, Washington; Costa Rica; or Chile. I wanted to leave the country, so Texas and Washington were out. I had already been to Costa Rica for a 4-week summer study abroad, so I decided to go to Chile by default.

The first week we were in Chile for what's called briefing, and George Phillips, the project director, challenged our team to pray about returning to Chile and being part of the fulfillment of a prayer...seeing 100 new staff/student leaders between 2007 and 2012. Throughout the weeks in Chile, I felt more and more strongly that God was calling me back. It was not easy, and it took some faith and trusting Him completely to ACTUALLY get me there, but I'm now developing a team of ministry partners who will support me prayerfully and financially as I go spread the gospel in Chile!

What an awesome God we serve!!

What a love story..."Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North

This is an AMAZING song. It's Jesus singing to His Bride, all those who have come to Him and asked Him to be their Savior. It's a beautiful picture. My words only get in the way of the message, so just read it. =)

Beloved lyrics - Tenth Avenue North (Over and Underneath CD)

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me

You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me

You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me

Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you'll taste new life

Cause you're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
You're my beloved
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery
It's a mystery

Interesting quote on Temptation vs. Testing

A leader in my college group at church said her father explained the difference between temptation and testing in this way:

"Testing is from God with the purpose of our succeeding, learning, and growing.
Temptation is from Satan with the ultimate purpose of our falling, destruction, death, and failure."

James tells us that God will not and does not tempt any man, so we know that God TESTS us - Satan tempts us. But God has provided a way of escape (see 1 (or 2...haha) Cor. 10:31), so even in the "bad," God has given us a way to escape. What a loving God...He's always giving us opportunity to grow and thrive. =)

What has God been teaching you lately??

Who are you?? Where is your identity??

God has really convicted me lately of being selfish. I so often find myself focusing all my energy on ME, when...if I would only look up and look out...I would see people around me who need me, and God could use me to help.

Now, I'll preface this whole thing by saying, I am NOTHING without God. I am merely flesh and bones, and He has chosen to use me as a pipeline to do His work. It's a humble honor, and I am not perfect...I screw it up sometimes...OK, a lot...but He still uses me, and I can look back and see how He has helped people through me. Trust me, there is no pride in that....it's humbling to see how inadequate I really am, and then to see a BIG God use me anyway. It's crazyness.

But anyways, I was recently introduced to a young lady to is SOOOOOOO boy crazy!! My goodness, she goes through guys like I go through toothpaste!! (A lot in a short amount of time, I promise). But it bothered me that she would do and say things that I'm sure she didn't mean, but it was all to get attention from a guy. I would get so frustrated and (here's a look into my imperfection...warning...) I would be nice to her, and talk to her and try to get her focused on the Lord, but as soon as she was gone, or I was talking to someone else, I would vent and just go off on how immature and ridiculous this girl was. (Immature of ME, I know...) Well, I was talking to a mutual friend about a situation, and the friend told me that this girl obviously found her identity in guys. If she didn't have a guy around to tell her how wonderful and beautiful and amazing she was, then she didn't feel worth anything. Of course, deep down I knew this, but I was getting focused on how frustrated she made ME, not thinking of how much she really needed to focus on who she is in Christ (yes, she's a Christian). The mutual friend explained to me that she believed God put me in this girl's life because I've been there...I've been in the relationship that I knew was not godly and was not following a path that it should go, but who would I be without this guy attached to my hip?? God finally opened my eyes and pried me away from this (really awesome, really nice, good Christian) guy...who just happened to not be the one for me. He's great...love him to death...as a brother in Christ, but he's just not the one. Anyway, I've been there, and I've come across to through that and now I know that I am who God has made me to be. My identity is ME in Jesus Christ. I don't have to try to be someone I'm not. God made me just the way I am: physically - I'm not a 10...I'm prolly a 7 or 8, but that's ok...God made me and this is how he WANTS me to look; socially - I'm not very witty or funny...I like to have a good time, and I believe people enjoy my presence, but I'm not the life of the party...usually...and that's ok, because that how God wants me to be; spiritually - I'm not an angel, I'm not a saint, I'm just a college girl seeking hard after Christ and all He wants me to do and be; mentally - I've done great in school, I was saludatorian of my class, but there is ALWAYS someone smarter than me, and that's ok. I do the best I can in every area, and I leave my potential in God's hands. He will lead me and guide me where He wants me to be. It's up to me to do my best...to try...to plan and set goals and work hard, but it's all completely in His hands....AND THAT'S OK. My identity is not in anything other than who God has made me to be. I am a follower of Christ, and that is my biggest identifier, so even when I fail and don't live up to my own expectations, I don't have to flip out and try something totally different just so I can succeed, my identity and WHO I AM is in Christ.
Well, all that to say...it became very clear that I have something to teach this friend of mine. I don't have to beat her over the head about her string of men, but I can show her and attempt to guide her in who she is in Christ. I know who I am...so why can't I help someone place her identity and who SHE is in the right place??

It's a challenge, and I still get frustrated, but it's ok, because I know that people got frustrated with me...probably still do...but they were patient with me and faithful to me as God was teaching me and growing me. So I need to be the same for her now. And it's an honor to be used. =)

What is God teaching you in your personal Bible study??

Marriage...Big subject, Big lesson...

So this is going to be a rather long post...but it's something major that God showed me last week. I'd had an AWFUL day at work. There was drama in the personal life of one of my coworkers, and it was scary...scary to think that my marriage could possibly end up like hers one day, and I did NOT want that. I ended up really upset by lunch break, because I had thought so much about how their marriage had fallen apart after 20-something years...I was just beside myself with fear and intimidated by the scary "reality" that these things happen to real people.
Well, I had flipped out all day, and all I knew to say to the coworker was that I was sorry and I would pray for her. I mean...good grief...I'm a single college kid who has NEVER been married (and isn't looking to be for a while longer...)...what could I say to her that would help?? I had no clue. When I got back from lunch, the whole afternoon, she didn't mention ANYTHING about what was going on. I was shocked, but I did pray for her before I left and when I got home, I was exhausted. Emotions WEAR ME OUT. So I was ready to just chill and relax and be finished with the day. Well, my cousin popped up on a chat line with me and said two words, "Psalm 91." That's it. No "Hi," no nothing. Just "Psalm 91." I told him thanks and I would read it before I went to bed....well, I forgot. I got the lights out that night and I went..."shoot, I didn't read Psalm 91." I decided I would read it in the morning with my regular devotions, but finally I realized it would probably be best to end my day with some Scripture. So I got up and read Psalm 91. OH BROTHER, did it speak to me. WHEW!! Every single verse spoke to a fear I had faced that day. I'll go through each verse and what I learned from it here, but let me just say this...these are not my words...God obviously spoke them to me. This isn't the way I talk...this isn't the way I think, but I wrote it all down as I read the chapter over again (spent almost 2 hours that night, writing down what I had learned). This is God's lesson in marriage to me...even though I'm still VERY happy single. =)
Psalm 91 (NLT)

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty." My husband and I MUST always stay in God's will and His ways. We must live daily in His shelther, and we will find rest.

"This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust Him." Even in marriage, I can't place my complete happiness, protection and satisfaction in my husband. I need to rust my husband, of course, but my trust in God should be infinitely stronger.

"For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease." ...like drugs, non-communication, mistrust, depression, anger, bitterness, hatred, lies, etc.

"He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection." God will take care of us, and He is more faithful than any spouse. God keeps His promises, His vows, even when humans do or don't. He's the same yesterday, today and forever.

"Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, not the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, not the disaster that strikes at midday." There's no telling what my coworker's husband did at night, and how the covered it in the morning - the words...even cutting, piercing, abusive words he would say to my coworker are not somthing that I have to worry about if I stay in that shelter God provides. I do not have to dread the ever-spreading, dadly and infectous disease of divorce. Id on't have to dread that if Chrsit is always center-stage and at the forefront of every decision and situation.

"Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you." This is when I started crying again...Look at the statistics - everything pretty much predicts that my marriage simply will not last. We will fall out of love, one will be unfaithful, finances will cause us to hate one another and divorce. In my coworkers family, drugs ruined their lives. But I have a PROMISE!! If I and my husband live in the shelter of the Most High, then although thousands and ten thousands are falling and losing those battles around me, it cannot touch me - it cannot touch our marriage. What an amazing, amazing promise. It's TOTALLY worth the condition of staying, abiding, living in the shelter of the Most High. There is no sacrifice to do that...live in the shelter of the Most High?? I wanna do that ANYWAY!! I'd rather be no where else.

"Just open your eyes and see how the wicked are punished." My coworker's husband will suffer the consequences of his actions - that may mean he loses his family, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord and not fall away over and over without getting up, to the point of no return.

"If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you, no plague will come near your home." Again, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, therefore, our home will saty intact, my marriage will survive and thrive, even if there are tough times, and my children with be raised in the knowledge and admonition of the Lord. They will be trained in the way they should go - through spoken lessons, and through example in my life and my husband's - so that when they are old, they will not depart from it.

"For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone." We will be protected. How many times has He made that promise now?? No matter what we face, we will be protected from its evels because all in my house will fear and serve the Lord.

"You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!" This DOES tell us that our family will still face hard times. We'll have to face and fight the lions, the cobras, even fierce lions and serpents...but we will overcome by the grace of God and by the power of His hand. He will work in us mightily and we will be more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.

"The Lord says, 'I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them.'" We WILL face those deadly and scary beasts, but we will not face them alone. He will be by our side!! He will rescue us, protect us, hear us, answer us, and BE WITH us. And when we have been tried and put through the fire and purging flames, we will emerge victorious, pure, free, blameless, and He will honor us. What a loaded, yet incredibly MERCIFUL promise!!

"I will reward them with a long life an dgive them my salvation." I don't know how many years my husband and I will have together in life, but I do know by this verse that we will live fully in the promises, the opportunites, and the callings He has given and will give us. We will serve the Lord and see Him working in us and through us to touch those He places around us. And MOST importantly of all...He has promised to give us His salvation. If we will be faithful to Him, not only will my husband and I be saved and enjoy eternal, everlasting life, but our children will also come to know the Lord and accept Him as Lord and Savior of their lives.



What a blessing and what a promise my husband (whoever he is...) and I have been given!! I am no longer intimidated or disheartened. I know the game plan, I am confident in it, and I am ready and willing to face the future...Just as long as he and I remember to follow one VERY important thing...we MUST live daily in the shelter of the Most High. I'm ready. Bring it on. =)

What has God been teaching you lately??

Just when I thought I was alone...

God has been teaching me SOOOO much lately!! It's been such an amazing time, and even though some of the lessons were really tough, so of them came from simply opening my eyes and looking around at what God does in my life. He is so evident, in so many ways, so much of the time!
Even this evening...I had plans. I was going to hang out with some friends this evening, but I was sitting in the library at school all afternoon. I had been up there with another friend and we were working on homework, listening to music, chatting, etc., when a group of guys came over to the lounge area we were in and asked if they could have a group study there. Apparently the room they had planned to meet in had been reserved by someone else, so they got kicked out. I asked if we would be in their way or if they just wanted to do it while we were still there working on homework, and the leader said, "Oh, that's fine! We're doing a Bible study. You are more than welcome to join us!" So I did. I pulled out my little pocket Bible and notebook and prepared to listen and share. Well, let me tell you something...that was a GREAT Bible study!! I enjoyed it so much, and just the realization that there were solid, mature, passionate Christians on campus beyond the little circle I knew was SO encouraging.
See, there's this vision...a vision God gave to my Christian friends on campus and He's now given to me as well...a vision to reach each and every student on campus with the Gospel. Whether they accept Christ or not, we want His name to be spread to EVERY person. We believe God is the God of the impossible and can do what our minds cannot comprehend...so we are trusting Him with this vision that our public university will become a place of God. That we will no longer be known for being a dark, sinful, evil place, but known as a university on fire for God...public or not.
Well, I was asked to close out the Bible study in prayer, and as I did, I thanked God for leading fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to us and for them to catch the vision of a campus for Christ. As I was praying, they began to "amen" and pray for the same thing!! Apparently, they have the same heart toward spreading the AMAZING news of Jesus on campus and reaching every student with Christ. It was SO COOL to meet people I'd probably never seen before on campus, and realizing that God had given them the same heart, the same vision, and we "JUST HAPPENED" to be thrown together tonight. Just as I was thinking myself and my little circle of friends were alone in our vision and our pursuit, God showed me that He has more warriors than we realized. I'm not alone...There ARE Christians around me, seeking God, and praying for the same things. SO cool to see. =)
That room "JUST HAPPENED" to be reserved by someone else on a night that groups ALWAYS meets. My friend and I "JUST HAPPENED" to stick around later than usual and were there when they came by. The group "JUST HAPPENED" to ask US of all the people in the library if they could invade our space. I don't believe in coincidence. God obviously wanted us to meet and I will be returning to that Bible study weekly, I hope!!
Something pretty obvious like that shows me that God has His hand on me. He's watching...He's guiding me, guiding my future, guiding my life. God is so ACTIVE in my life...I just can't believe I've been blindly going along for so long, not LOOKING for Him in each day.
Even in something tiny tonight...I left my lights on, so my battery died in the car I was driving today. My friend dropped me off at my car, which was in a nearly empty parking lot. If I had ridden a bus there, I would've been stuck, waiting for someone to be kind and jump me off, but it "JUST HAPPENED" that my friend took the time to drive me by there, even though he was already late for church...and I wasn't stuck alone in a scary place. See?? God's got me...and it's SO exciting to see, and so comforting to know. =)
So...what's God done in your life today?? What has He been teaching you?? Open your eyes...LOOK for Him!! He's there, I promise.